I suppress

My dreams and wants

Are just that, mine

Why should I make you do my bidding

It really is a two way street

Collisions occur unless I let you pass

I lay to rest parts of me that wanna go and do, it’s not you it’s me

Mine to own, make behave

This disease controls me and all I can do is keep it to myself

Healthier that way then there are no wasted tomorrow’s

I’ve gone from I’ll just do it myself to ensure it gets done right,

Then to I f I want it done figure it out,

Finely to not even wanting it done at all

If there are no dreams and wants, there are no wasted tomorrow’s

There are no blues or feeling down

I will go to a make believe place in my head it’s much nicer than real

Here I lay the foundation of greater good

Mind over matter

Here I create all the minor imperfections requiring

Me to smooth and master

Really a distraction

Upon completion, behold a masterpiece of sorts

Resentment will become the normal

Fee required for harmless suppression

Or that is what I tell myself k

Boils down to watch what you wish for

Even unconsciously as it may be

Outcomes are never as desired but what is warranted

Heidi Talbott

2023

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lights

I never wanted my name in lights or anything close I am smart, but never realized how I was just a girl, less than, or that was what I was born into and brainwashed to believe Fighting uphill in the wind I don’t take kindly to No Even today as my body kills me from the inside out I have every reason to accept and take no for the answer yet I cannot or will not My favorite quote, “You are never too old to be what you were meant to be.” George Eliot If I was meant to be a writer I’ll keep going and someday maybe I will be I need to get over fear of trying and do it How is simple Try & let the words help me Heidi Talbott 2023
Read more

Bottled What’s

Standing on the corner of broken dreams and hard knocks I throw my hands up in despair How’d I get here? Working my hardest day in and day out The powers that be said not today, tomorrow or any in between That crumbling feeling you get when every thing you touch turns to shit Guess that is why they gave out second chances Well I’m a pro at fifths and I’m not speaking spirits this time I can hear words of the past, if I listen Yet I’m afraid of myself or it seems Confidence I lack Faith in myself and the words I write If I want more, I just need to write and stop fearing the outcome Heidi Talbott
Read more

Life sickle(like ice sickles)

Drip, drip, drip The end is near I fear Drip, drip, drip One, two, three Drip drip Sick and twisted I count to my end It is warm enough today I will cease to exist at its end No more beautiful sculptures will I create even if a spike is all you see There is more to me Than that the ice you swirl in your mouth When a bite of me you take If I’m untarnished Pure & fresh you suck on a chunk Thinking this is perfect Then I’m gone You break me off whatever I’ve attached to and grown upon Did you think of me at all as you crunched me into pieces It’s okay if you didn’t, I never felt a thing Here today, gone tomorrow For at heart I’m just water Shapes or forms I take according to the weather Drip, drip, good bye drip drip March 2023 Heidi Talbott *authors note* I wrote this from the ice sickle’s perspective.
Read more